Like everything else, there are downsides to a prenup. A prenup is not romantic! For most people, particularly women, being engaged invokes images of ‘Mills and Boon’ love stories, candlelit dinners and walks in the moonlight. Any talk of a prenup at this point may wake one from this sweet dream of bliss! In fact, it may raise suspicion. The reality, however, is that happily-ever-after are love stories meant only for the pages of ‘Mills and Boon’. Marriage is not only a romantic partnership; it is also a financial one as well. Failure to discuss finance and property is at the root of many difficulties experienced in marriages and divorces.
Another downside is that you have to disclose your assets to your partner as you are mandatorily required to disclose them. There may be special reasons why you may not want to do so but when you hide your assets; you are already planting landmines for the marriage.
A prenup is said not to be ideal for everyone but for persons with substantial wealth, older people marrying younger people and people who are entering into second or subsequent marriages. This should not be the case in view of the advantages enumerated above. It is not out of place for people outside of this bracket to enter into prenup or at least, have serious discussions on finance and property before marriage. Moreover, with reference to wealth, there is nothing to say that a couple without considerable wealth today will not have some tomorrow.
People also believe that negotiating a prenup leads to conflict even before the marriage. Starting a relationship with a contract that sets out the particulars of what will happen upon death or divorce can engender a sense of lack of trust. As this maybe, a frank communication about finance before marriage which a prenup symbolizes can actually improve the quality of relationships and provide a great basis for communication in marriage.
From the perspective of Religious people, a prenup is a bad omen. If the person is a ‘Christian’, the argument will be that a prenup is contrary to God’s ‘till death do us part’ will for marriage. It is like asking a Nigerian to write a Will! If you tell your parents about a prenup, their response is likely going to be questions like: “what do you mean”? “Are you planning to divorce”? A prenup is not a divorce plan; it can be likened to insurance. The insurance of your property against fire does not mean you are inviting fire to destroy it and the fire may never occur but when it does, the effect will be cushioned. A prenup is also not all about divorce.
Though hardly considered, there are many practical and legal reasons why a prenup should be explored in Nigeria. There is nothing under our law which precludes its enforceability. A prenup proposal may be unromantic but it is a practical financial decision, it has nothing to do with love or the absence of it. There is a reality after a marriage ceremony and like they say, ‘life happens’. In this age of materialism where ‘love’ can be a deceptive tool and where the once sacred institution of marriage has been demystified; the only assurance of true love may just be a prenup.
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